at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
