True but thats because hes a fetus.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
