yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
