"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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