at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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