I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So much Jack, so little girl.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
