so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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