Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
