it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
