Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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