Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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