We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
