THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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