we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
