i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
