why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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