Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
