The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
