What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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