Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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