i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
