Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
