Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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