Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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