OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
