Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
