Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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