Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
