3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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