Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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