whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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