So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
