Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
