What a fucking waste of an outfit
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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