It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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