I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
