I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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