I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
