mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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