Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
