he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i drank out of a bidet.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
