I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
