Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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