not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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