The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
