honey bunches of taint.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
