Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
