Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
