Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
