I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
